Below is the first part of the material that David recently presented at the Coastal Community Church Marriage Mentors event. In case you missed it, here is a link to Part 1: Prayer which was presented by Jonsie.

The Gospel is the Good News of salvation offered to all of mankind and described in the entirety of the Holy Scriptures we call the Bible. The Gospel is introduced from Genesis to Malachi, exposed in the person of Jesus Christ from Matthew to John, demonstrated by common men and women in Acts to Jude, and revealed in glorious splendor in Revelation. It includes 66 books written over a 1600-year span over 2000 years ago by 40 different authors. God, Himself in the form of the Holy Spirit, filled and inspired faithful and obedient men to write His words that would transform the human heart. It was designed by God to be interpreted by men and women filled with the same Holy Spirit. Sinful (natural) man, void of the Holy Spirit, is unable to understand it because he doesn’t have the mind of Christ that is embedded in the Holy Scriptures (1 Corinthians 2:14).

The Bible is described as bread for the soul, milk for babes and solid food for the mature. It tastes like honey and is a lamp that illuminates our quest to know God. But perhaps one of the most distinguishing symbols for the Bible is the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17), sharper than any two-edged sword, able to divide soul and spirit, joint and marrow (Hebrews 4:12). A sharp, two-edged sword is a dangerous weapon. As such it is to be handled correctly (2 Timothy 2:15). Like a bull in a china shop or a hammer in the hands of a 3-year-old, it can be used in a manner to destroy things. It has the capacity to hurt people and destroy marriages. It’s logical that if one is going to wield it properly and for good use, they must be filled with the Holy Spirit, mature and familiar with its purpose.

Can the Bible wreck your marriage?

Yes! When we wrongly handle it by:

1. Misquoting it (Saying what it doesn’t say)

The main reason people misquote Scripture is that they aren’t familiar with it. They are not familiar with it because they don’t take time to read it. Lifeway research¹ reveals that only 20% of Americans have read the Bible in its entirety. That means that 80% may like it, be fond of it, and even want to live by it, but haven’t read it all the way through.

If people haven’t taken the time to read the entire Bible, then it’s safe to assume it has not become a part of their very being. They usually misquote it when they want to align it with their selfish wills. The Bible warns us about such behavior (Romans 16:17-18; 2 Peter 3:16).

Examples:

God helps those who help themselves. This is a particularly dangerous misquote and is actually not stated in the Bible at all! Its premise is to encourage people to rely upon their own abilities to overcome obstacles in their lives believing that God’s got their back. It leads one to believe that if they take the initiative to do something that God will follow up with their desired result. Nothing could be farther from the truth, for God is not a puppet with strings attached to our wills. He is sovereign and able to help those who call upon His name but holds all the cards and plays them according to His will and for His glory.

Money is the root of all evil. I particularly find this one humorous. Can you imagine a society without money? Money, itself, is a wonderful tool which makes simple commerce easy and efficient. The days of trading two goats for an oxcart are over. Money is a great invention. However, it is not to be worshipped or idolized. For the Scriptures are clear, it is, “the love of money” that is a root of all sorts of evil (1 Timothy 6:10). When money comes before God, evil is not far behind.

Cleanliness is next to godliness. I’m not sure where this misquote originated, but my guess would be the Pharisees. It conjures up the idea that if one gets their life right with God (whatever that means?) they will become holy and righteous. Nothing could be farther from the truth for “all have sinned” (Romans 3:23). We cannot heal or save ourselves. Only through the righteousness of Christ can we become “clean” before God. Jesus addressed this directly in Matthew 23:25-28 with the Pharisees.

2. Misusing it to manipulate our partners (Saying pieces and parts of it)

Misquoting Scripture leads to misusing it. People often misuse the Bible by taking it out of context with the specific goal of manipulating their partners. They don’t like something they perceive wrong in their marriage so they search the Bible for ammunition to impose their will upon their spouse.

Husbands may misuse Scripture by saying things like, “you need to be submissive” (Ephesians 5:22) when they desire their wives to wait on them hand and foot. However, they conveniently forget the follow-up verse to that, “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church” (Ephesians 5:25). Christ loved the church so much He gave His life for it. How can someone with that kind of love resort to manipulating their spouse?

This reminds me of the young teen who just received his driver’s license. He asked his father when he could drive the family car. After considerable thought his dad said, “when you pull your grades up from a C to a B, read the Bible every day, and get a haircut.” These seemed reasonable and attainable goals to have the privilege of driving the family car, so the teen set about to accomplish them. After 3 months passed, he came to his dad with his new report card showing that he improved his grades. His dad looked at it and said, “Son, you sure did bring your grades up and I’ve noticed you’ve been reading your Bible daily. But why haven’t you gotten your hair cut?” His son replied, “well, dad, since I’ve been reading the Bible, I’ve noticed that Moses, Samson, and John the Baptist had long hair. There’s even some indication that Jesus had long hair.” His dad responded, without missing a heartbeat, “you’re right son. But did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they had to go?”

The Bible was not designed for you to invoke your will upon others. Don’t beat your spouse with it! It won’t work and you’ll only get frustrated. Unless they are wearing a diaper, you can’t change your spouse! Even if you could you wouldn’t like the results! Quit trying, you’ll only get tired and frustrated. Trust me, the Bible has a convicting power all by itself! Read Luke 4:16-30. All Jesus had to do was read the Scripture and it convicted those around Him. Remember, it has the power to divide soul and spirit. Stop using it to change your spouse. In the long run, you and I make a lousy Holy Spirit!

Example: Perhaps the best example of misusing Scripture was when Jesus was at His most vulnerable human state. During Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness, Satan took Him to the top of the Temple terrace and commanded Him to jump off (Matthew 4:5-6). He quotes Psalms 91:11-12 stating that God has commanded His angels to save Him. However, Jesus quotes Deuteronomy 6:16, “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test” in response. Although Satan knows Scripture better than you and I, he used it out of context and for his own purpose.

3. Misinterpreting it (Not saying what it says)

The Bible was originally written in three ancient, foreign and complex languages (Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek). It was written to various people living in diverse cultures during different times. We read it today in English and in a culture so unlike those of the past. It is safe to say that our English translations lose some of the original meanings and contexts that the original authors had intended. Interpreting Scripture correctly is challenging even to professional scholars.

One simple method I’ve adopted to interpret Scripture correctly is to ask myself these three simple questions before reading the Bible:

1. Who wrote it?
2. Who was he writing to?
3. Why did he write it?

Seeking the answers to these three questions will help you put Scripture in its proper context. I’m not saying it will provide all the answers, but it will help you in your quest to properly understand what the Bible is saying.

Example: One popular misinterpretation of Scripture is when people say, “the Bible says don’t judge me.” They usually say this in general because they don’t like being judged. I mean, who does? However, if you read the rest of this beatitude Jesus says, “… first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5)

Jesus is described as the groom who will return to take His bride (the church, you and I) back to the wedding chamber (heaven). He wants His bride to be pure. Church discipline described in Matthew 18 points to that inner cleansing of the bride of Christ. In addition, Paul says to the church in Corinth, “Do you not judge those who are within the church?” (1 Corinthians 5:12). The Old Testament puts it in simple terms, “Iron sharpens iron …” (Proverbs 27:17). We are to judge our brothers and sisters in Christ with love and with the intention of restoration, not with ridicule and hate.

So, how do you correctly handle the Bible in your marriage?

Find the answer to that in Part 3!

¹https://lifewayresearch.com/2017/04/25/lifeway-research-americans-are-fond-of-the-bible-dont-actually-read-it/